The comedy of me trying to take a bath at my parents' house:

I'm in Florida right now and my parents have this big tub with jets in their bathroom so today i decide to take a nice bath and relax. I am taking my pants off when my dad walks in (without knocking) and starts fussing over the bath salts. He gets really concerned about the epsom salts,
"what's this? should you put this in the tub?"
I pull my pants back on,
"no, thanks Dad, I've already put the pink stuff in."
"Are you sure? Do you need to add more?" He takes the salts and goes to the kitchen to discuss the unopened package of epsom salt with my mom. He's reading the package "Oh, it's a laxative. What do you think? is this a good one to put in the tub?" he asks my mom.
I follow him, "Dad, I don't need it, I put the pink salt in there already."
He ignores me and keeps talking about the laxative salt.
"Dad, I think that you have to drink it for it to be a laxative. I'm fine, don't open it. I already put salt in the tub." I take charge and go back to the bathroom, quickly undress and get in the tub.
2 minutes later, my mom walks in (without knocking). "Do you need something to put in the tub?"
"No mom, i got it. Thank you."
She pulls out a bottle with red oil and starts pouring the stuff into the tub, "here, it has a really nice smell." (it smells like sweet, fake apple).
"Mom, thanks that's enough."
She dumps some more in and caps the bottle, "are you sure you don't need anything else? Oh this is in your way, let me move it" she starts moving the three foot porcelain statue of a sitting leopard.
"Mom, please, it's heavy don't move anything. It's not in my way." She puts the leopard in the shower stall. I protest harder when she starts to move some more pottery and a plant. She gives in and leaves.
I turn on the jets of the tub and lay back. The red smelly oil begins to generate bubbles. The jets are churning the water and bubbles keep growing until I am practically swollen up by a cloud of aromatic foam. I hear my mom yelling something from the other room. I'm thinking she's yelling at my dad or sister, but her yells get more demanding and i finally hear over the sound of the jets and the bubble muffle that she's yelling to me,
"do you need anything? Do you need a towel?"
I have to turn off the jets and pull my head out of the bubbles to answer,
"no mom."
"Do you need a bathrobe?"
"No"
"Do you have everything?"
"Yes"
I try not to sound annoyed, but still feel kind of bad for being short with her. Then decide not to feel guilty and lay back in the tub. After two minutes of quiet, my sister walks into the bathroom (without knocking),
"here take this" she hands me a pink inflated bath cushion.
"Thanks Julia." She stands there.
"Julia leave, please" she leaves.
I throw the cushion on the window sill and lay back in the tub. Jets off because the bubbles are starting to billow out onto the floor.
Five minutes, Julia walks in again,
"here" she hands me a plate with a persimmon, raspberries, an apple and a little knife.
"Thanks Julia, I don't want that right now."
She goes away and I hear her report to my mom, "she doesn't want it."
"Well, if she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it" my mom sounds offended.
I lay there trying to let guilt wash away. After ten minutes of quiet a feeling is nagging, why hasn't anyone tried to bug me? are they mad? are they waiting for me? I turn on the jets, sigh, stretch, nothing. just can't take the quiet, it's too unnerving.